Thursday, April 16, 2009
Similes and Metaphors
Beneath the feet that help me trudge through the hot sand, is a three day old burial ground honoring the king of the sea. As I walk along the heat-infested beach, I seize the calming peace that has prevailed as a result of the recent death of a whale that has surfaced. Its lifeless shell rests upon the sand as if it has fallen asleep while sun-bathing. In a way, it feels like the beach has appeased its roaring waves to pay its respects to something that once lived within its protection.
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Can something be "heat-infested"? I don't think heat "infests."
ReplyDeleteSome good similes and metaphors, but I think this piece would be a stronger if you'd tighten it up a bit. Simpler is usually better.
three-day-old burial ground (hyphenate a compound adjective)
8.5/10